I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
