Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
