is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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