drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
