My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
