Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
