Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
