i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
