Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
