I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
