make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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