omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
