Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
