Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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