Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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