Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im holly from the hills drunk
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
