I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
