It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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