im about as happy as oj after his trial
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
