I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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