Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
