Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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