I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm just crazy horny about you
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
