he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the condom got lost in my hair
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
