Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
