he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
