she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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