fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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