I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize