blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
