Christians are straight up FREAKS
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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