Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You made out with two different species that night
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
