Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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