I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
