Nicole vs. Life
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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