i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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