You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
