And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
