you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
