I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
