i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
