i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
