i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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