i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
