My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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