PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
