i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
