The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
