Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
