I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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