I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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