I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
