I wish I could teleport
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
