we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
