I'm jealous of your bromance
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
