what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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