I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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