he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
