seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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