K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
