Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Randomize
