I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
