He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
