Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
