a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
