Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
