you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
