dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
