Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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